What my friend taught me

 Recently, I experienced the heartbreaking loss of a my (our) friend who passed away due to a health-related disease. Losing someone we hold close is never easy, especially when that person has been part of our lives for decades. I am being a little reflective today, I just heard the news he had passed, many thoughts are swirling around my head and the easiest path  is to just take a  journey with me as  I explore the nature of  our friendship, reminisce in regards to some  cherished memories, and honor the lessons he taught me.

Friendship is a relationship that transcends time, distance, and circumstances. Men do have friendships but often the really close ones are rare and valuable to hold on to if possible through one's life.  You could almost call it an "exclusive" circle and getting to be one of these close friends takes time.  My circle already has lost one dear friend, luckily there are some additions, but sadly time will inexorably deplete this circle. 

Looking back on my own life, I realize that while I've encountered numerous acquaintances along the way, only a handful have become true friends and hence are now part of this "exclusive" circle. As rare as these relationships they tend to be the result of everyday circumstances.  You can meet them at church, at school or simply live in the same proximity or neighborhood.  

Glynn and I were thrown together by circumstance, attending the same church and elementary school. I was kind of an outsider and maybe as he always said, “I felt sorry for you!” I think we became friends because sometimes opposites attract.  I always reminded him that if I was a chick I’d never have been attracted to him. As a teenager he looked a lot like the actor who played Ron Weasley in Harry Potter.   Red hair, freckles, and a quirky grin—Glynn's friendship proved to be invaluable. Our shared adventures, whether ball games, exploring the farmer's field, getting in trouble as teenagers, campouts, scout camps, it just solidified our bond. We grew older and discovered new interests, such as our ill-fated attempt at ballet classes to improve our skills at basketball, which was a fun story we told each other years later.  

Though we attended different high schools, Glynn and I remained connected at the hip on weekends.  He had a car so we could get in more trouble at that point.  From watching double features at the local mall, to double dating my girlfriend and her friend, life was pretty good. Things started to change when Glynn met Kenlynn, his future wife.  I naturally have been replaced, but that’s the way of life.  I wasn’t bitter, just life changed and new roads and journeys for both of us.  One that we had discussed was going on a mission. our church.  At age 19 many men in our church volunteer for a two year mission to a foreign country or usually another state in our country.  As I said, Glynn’s path was a different one, with a newborn daughter and wife Glynn still wanted to participate with my family as they dropped me off at the central missionary training center.  After they had dropped me off, Glynn was a bit emotional on the ride home, my parents told me later.  This always had an impact on me during and after my mission, even up to this day.

As life progressed, both Glynn and I faced new challenges and responsibilities. We maintained sporadic contact, relying on our unique ability as men to effortlessly reconnect whenever we crossed paths. There was an unspoken understanding that no constant communication or phone calls were necessary—a simple "hey, I'm coming over" sufficed. Nevertheless, circumstances and geographic distances created obstacles in maintaining regular contact. Glynn's move to Arizona due to employment and my own commitments as a new husband and father made our interactions less frequent but no less meaningful.  He’d call me when someone died in the old neighborhood and I’d call him if I had questions about fixing my car.  He just knew his way around a automobile.

There was a period of time where I kind of veered into a strange life of questionable choices.  However, shortly after this time I reconnected with Glynn. I had been going through a divorce and he had just been released from being a bishop and had just found out he had a major health issue.  Despite my absence and personal struggles, he welcomed me into his home during my religious revival and we had some profound discussions walking through his neighborhood. Those moments of connection and understanding I’ll always cherish.

Recently a couple friends of mine from that same neighborhood decided to get together and start a podcast.  Brent Whitley came up with the idea because he felt that a podcast would be a great way where three old friends who lived on opposite sides of the country could still get together and talk about old times. We also thought it would be a great keepsake for our families .  As fate would play out, Glynn happened to be one of our first interviews.  I wanted to interview him simply because he had beaten cancer several times and of course he was one of us.  Glynn graciously agreed to come on the show and he in fact dominated it.  The story was phenomenal and I don’t think anyone could listen to that show and not have dry eyes.  Inspiring was an understatement and I’d know he’d growl at me for the suggestion however, it is inspiring. 

What did Glynn teach me and what lessons can we take from this man's life?  He hit all the big check marks.  He was a great husband, father, grandfather, church leader, handyman and would give the shirt off his back to any of his friends if they needed it.  He had his moments of course.  Couldn’t stay awake on a boat ride - for life of me -, and isn't it odd he owned a boat most of his life. I wonder if he was ever awake ?  He also could be rather mean in his teasing, especially with me. He also was a terrible cheat in cards, ask his son.   But he was a great friend and man

Glynn taught me the following lessons in life.  Everyday is a gift from God.  Notice he didn’t say it was a blessing.  He said it was a gift from God.  If you think about it he probably didn’t relish everyday but he appreciated the time the Lord gave him and recognized everyday was an opportunity to serve and learn more.   He also taught me that you don’t have to be blessed with much to live a rewarding and rich life.  Glynn came from humble means and as we celebrate his life just look at the picture in this blog, it tells you everything you need to know. 

Glynn, I’ll miss you my friend.  Visiting Shawn in Arizona will be nice I guess ;-), but it will never be the same without you.  One day we’ll have a great reunion and I hope I can look back at my life the same way I’m looking at yours.  GodSpeed and until we meet again.

Your friend, Karl